Attachment disorder: how lack of affection in childhood affects relationships in adulthood.
Attachment disorder is a psychological condition that profoundly affects how a person relates to others. It usually originates in childhood, especially when there are significant failures or ruptures in the relationship with caregivers. These experiences impact how the person perceives themselves, others, and emotional bonds.
Understanding this condition is essential for seeking help and improving quality of life. Psychotherapy plays a key role in this process, offering tools to reframe experiences and develop healthier relationships.
What is attachment disorder?
Attachment disorder is characterized by persistent difficulties in establishing and maintaining healthy, reliable, and secure relationships. It often develops when, in early childhood, the child did not receive consistent care, affection, or adequate attention.
According to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), there are two main types related to childhood:
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) – The child avoids social interactions and shows little or no attachment to caregivers.
Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DESD) – The child is excessively sociable and does not show selectivity in choosing attachment figures, often interacting inappropriately with strangers.
In adulthood, these manifestations can translate into dysfunctional relationship patterns, such as extreme fear of abandonment or difficulty trusting others.
Causes of attachment disorder
Attachment disorder doesn’t appear out of nowhere. It’s linked to early experiences of neglect or emotional instability. Among the main causes, we can mention:
Abandonment or early loss of parents/caregivers.
Physical and emotional neglect.
Physical, sexual, or psychological abuse in childhood.
Unstable family environment , with constant changes of caregivers.
Prolonged separations without adequate support.
These experiences affect how a child’s brain develops connections related to trust, security, and empathy.
Symptoms and signs of attachment disorder
Although symptoms vary with age, some common signs may indicate the presence of this disorder:
Difficulty trusting others.
Excessive fear of rejection or abandonment.
Low self-esteem and emotional insecurity.
Intense need for approval.
Unstable and conflict-ridden relationships.
Excessively withdrawn behavior or, conversely, extremely dependent behavior.
In children, it can lead to delayed emotional development, learning difficulties, and aggressive or withdrawn behavior.
Impacts on adult life
Attachment disorder can negatively influence romantic relationships, friendships, and even the work environment. It is common for the person to:
Choose abusive or emotionally unavailable partners.
Be afraid to get involved, avoiding intimacy.
Be controlling or overly submissive.
I experience anxiety attacks at the slightest sign of separation.
These patterns, when left untreated, perpetuate cycles of frustration and loneliness.
How can psychotherapy help with attachment disorder?
Psychotherapy is the primary form of treatment because it addresses the root of the problem: how the person perceives and experiences relationships.
Among the most commonly used approaches are:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
It addresses dysfunctional beliefs and negative thought patterns.
It teaches strategies for dealing with anxiety and improving communication.
Attachment-Focused Therapy
It explores early experiences and helps create new relationship models.
It fosters a secure therapeutic bond, which serves as a foundation for healthier relationships outside of therapy.
Couple or Family Therapy
Recommended when attachment patterns directly affect emotional relationships.
It fosters dialogue, empathy, and emotional reconnection.
Somatic Therapy
It addresses the impact of traumatic memories on the body, helping with emotional regulation.
The role of psychotherapy in emotional strengthening.
Treatment not only reduces symptoms but also strengthens internal resources, such as:
Self-knowledge.
Ability to set boundaries.
Ability to recognize and express emotions.
Developing more balanced relationships.
Over time, the patient learns to trust again, breaking harmful patterns and allowing themselves to experience more authentic connections.
Importance of social and family support
In addition to therapy, having a support network makes a difference in treatment. Friends, family, and support groups can help by offering:
Understanding without judgment.
Stability and predictability.
Encouragement to continue psychological treatment.
Consistent emotional support helps rebuild trust in human relationships.
Practical tips for dealing with attachment disorder.
While seeking treatment, some actions can help in daily life:
Practice self-awareness – Observe your emotional triggers and impulsive reactions.
Establish clear boundaries – Do not allow abusive or invasive behavior.
Maintaining self-care habits – Physical exercise, meditation, and a healthy diet contribute to emotional balance.
Avoid toxic relationships – Recognize patterns and distance yourself from situations that reinforce insecurities.
Seeking knowledge – Reading about attachment and relationships helps you understand your own patterns.
When should you seek professional help?
If you notice that your relationships are constantly marked by fear, distrust, or excessive dependence, and this causes significant distress, it’s time to seek help. Psychologists and psychiatrists can provide the appropriate assessment and recommend the most effective treatment.
Conclusion
Attachment disorder is a serious but treatable condition. Although it has roots in childhood, it doesn’t define who you are or condemn your relationships forever. With psychotherapy, it’s possible to reframe past experiences and develop safer and healthier relationships.
Seeking help is an act of courage and the first step toward breaking harmful cycles and building more authentic connections.
